184 Best Short Jokes For Everyone

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Find here the collection of some funny, hilarious short jokes for kids, adults, teens, and of all ages of children. These jokes are shared here to create humor. Because laughing creates a positive impact on you physically and mentally.

Funny Short Jokes For All

1. An average female is an iron man. I mean, an average Fe-male is an iron man!

2. Britains don’t know the collective name for spoon, fork and knives. They’d rather call Larry.

3. Can someone please shed more light on how my lamp got stolen?

4. Homo habilis are erect, while Australopithecus are not fully erect because they nervous.

5. How did the bird break into the house? It came with a crow bar!

6. How do trees have so many friends? They branch out!

7. How does the ocean say hi? It waves!

Also Find: Bad Dad Jokes

8. Hummingbirds usually hum when speaking because they don’t know the words to use.

9. I almost forgot what a boomerang was, I’m glad it came back to me!

10. I am born to be a gymnast with the multiple stunts I pull daily.

11. I am glad when I was told the criminal behind the stealing of my sneakers uses a wheelchair because he can hide but can’t run.

12. I am going to make her love me, my credit score is the only bad thing about me but I’ll make sure I get her a-lone!

13. I am tired of the constant ups and downs in my life, so I got to stop using the stairs.

14. I gave up on the caring act of telling my friends the dangers of using cotton buds because it always goes in-ear and out the other.

15. I had a change of heart on my way to getting a heart transplant.

16. I messed up today, I sent a birthday card to my crippled friend where I told him to break a leg. I hope he takes it literally cos I mean no harm!

17. I still don’t know why people always get mad at me for acting mean towards average people. I seriously don’t.

18. If you know the gravity of your offense you will fall down to your knees.

19. It took me three years to find out my sixth-grade teacher couldn’t control her pupils because she had lazy eyes.

Also Find: Hilarious Jokes For Kids

20. It’s only right they performed a low-key funeral ceremony for whoever dies while playing the piano!

21. It’s so romantic how I always feel a hot spot in my chest whenever I tell my wife-hi.

22. Ladies looking for the fruit of the womb, even after having a man, should let that mango!

23. My ex said I should get her a birthday gift without expecting anything in return, then I got her a guitar with no string attached to it.

24. My favorite animal is the tiger. I want to be able to do what the tiger would do without playing golf.

25. My kid bro challenged me to a game I once beat him, I remember the pane on his face, I’m still gonna win-though!

26. My report card appears so magical because it is filled with elfs.

27. My sign language teacher advised me to practice frequently because her lessons may come in handy

28. Name the kind of tree you can hold in your hand? A palm tree!

29. No matter how you push the envelope it will not leave its stationery position.

30. Sandy’s mum has four kids; North, West, East. What is the name of the fourth child? Sandy, obviously!

31. She said she’s met me at the vegan restaurant last week but I’ve never seen herbivore.

Short Jokes For Adults

32. Swallowing food coloring is dangerous because it could make you die from the inside!

33. The cruelest but funniest thing I’ve ever heard is the doctor telling an amputee he needs more digits for his prosthetic fingers!

34. The path of a con is a difficult maze to understand.

35. Three friends can be close one another by being a fan of each other until they experience a misunderstanding that hits the ceiling!

36. Tom is the weakest in my class, everyone dared him more than letters

37. Vegetarians don’t always need to purchase their vegetables because their boss also award them with compensatory leave

38. What did east say to west? You mustn’t go north when things are going south!

39. What did one math book say to the other? “I’ve got so many problems.”

40. What did one pickle say to the other? Dill with it.

41. What did the Dalmatian say after lunch? That hit the spot!

42. What did the lava say to his girlfriend? “I lava you!”

43. What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between us, something smells!

44. What did the policeman say to his hungry stomach? “Freeze. You’re under a vest.”

45. What do bees say when they see an overhyped event? “What’s all the buzz is about.”

46. What do birds give out on Halloween? Tweets.

47. What do you call a couple of chimpanzees sharing an Amazon account? PRIME-mates.

48. What do you call a gazelle in a lion’s territory? Denzel.

49. What do you call a guy who’s really loud? Mike.

50. What do you call an act of investing in Bill Gates’ business? To Investigate!

51. What do you call two bananas on the floor? Slippers.

52. What does a storm cloud wear under his raincoat? Thunderwear.

53. What has ears but cannot hear? A cornfield.

54. What is a room with no walls? A mushroom.

55. What is brown, hairy and wears sunglasses? A coconut on vacation.

56. What is fast, loud and crunchy? A rocket chip.

57. What social event do spiders love to attend? Webbings.

58. Why is she called llene? She stands on equal legs.

59. Why would I be laid off from my candle manufacturing company because I refused to work on wick end?

60. Will the cat eat its meal without pulling a stunt? I am not a gymnast instructor, but I know the cartwheel.

61. A plane crashed in the jungle and every single person died. Who survived? Married couples.

62. Did you hear the joke about the roof? Never mind, it would go over your head.

One Liner Short Jokes

63. How can you tell if an ant is a boy or a girl? They’re all girls! If they were boys, they’d be uncles.

64. How did Benjamin Franklin feel holding his kite when he discovered electricity? Shocked!

65. How did the baby tell his mom he had a wet diaper? He sent her a pee-mail.

66. How do bees brush their hair? With honeycombs!

67. How do billboards talk? Sign language.

68. How do you know when a bike is thinking? You can see their wheels turning.

69. How do you make a lemon drop? Let it fall from the tree.

70. How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying? You rocket.

71. How do you talk to a giant? Use big words.

72. How does a vampire start a letter? “Tomb it may concern…”

73. How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.

74. How much did the man sell his dead batteries for? Nothing, they were free of charge!

75. How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced? A buck an ear.

76. What animal is always at a baseball game? A bat.

77. What board game does the sky love to play? Twister.

78. What building in New York has the most stories? The public library.

79. What did the Baby Corn say to the Mama Corn? “Where is Pop Corn?”

80. What did the bald man say when he received a comb for his birthday? “I’ll never part with this!”

81. What did the bathtub say to the toilet? “You look flushed!”

82. What did the elf learn in school? The elf-abet.

83. What did the ghost call his Mum and Dad? His transparents.

84. What did the limestone say to the geologist? Don’t take me for granite!

85. What do you call a duck that gets good grades? A wise quacker.

86. What do you call a fish without an eye? A fsh.

87. What do you call a tired bull? A bulldozer.

88. What do you call cheese that belongs to someone else? Nacho cheese!

89. What goes up and down but doesn’t move? The staircase.

90. What is a witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling.

91. What kind of keys are sweet? Cookies!

Hilarious Short Jokes

92. What kind of math do birds love? Owl-gebra!

93. What kind of shoes do frogs love? Open-toad!

94. What kind of water cannot freeze? Hot water.

95. What’s a cat’s favorite dessert? A bowl full of mice-cream.

96. What’s a private investigator’s favorite shoe? Sneak-ers.

97. What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

98. What’s Thanos’ favorite app on his phone? Snapchat.

99. When does a joke become a “dad” joke? When the punchline is a parent.

100. Where did the music teacher leave her keys? In the piano!

101. Where do most horses live? In neighhh-borhoods!

102. Which planet loves to sing? Nep-tune!

103. Which superhero hits home runs? Batman!

104. Why are basketball courts always wet? Because the players dribble.

105. Why are pizza jokes the worst? They’re too cheesy.

106. Why can’t you ever tell a joke around glass? It could crack up.

107. Why can’t you ever trust atoms? Because they make up everything.

108. Why did the blue jay get in trouble at school? For tweeting on a test!

109. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

110. Why did the Daddy Rabbit go to the barber? He had a lot of little hares.

111. Why did the scarecrow win a Nobel prize? Because she was outstanding in her field.

112. Why did the soccer player take so long to eat dinner? Because he thought he couldn’t use his hands.

113. Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake.

114. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because she was stuffed.

115. Why do birds fly south in the winter? It’s faster than walking!

116. Why do ducks always pay with cash? Because they always have bills!

117. Why do ducks have feathers on their tails? To cover their buttquacks.

118. Why does a seagull fly over the sea? Because if it flew over the bay, it would be a baygull.

119. Why is a football stadium always cold? It has lots of fans!

120. Why was the belt arrested? Because it was holding up some pants.

121. You will hardly find bees working under people because they’re the buzz.

122. How are false teeth like stars? They come out at night.

Funniest Short Jokes For Everyone

123. How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a complete nut!

124. How does a cucumber become a pickle? It goes through a jarring experience.

125. How does a scientist freshen her breath? With experi-mints.

126. What did the banana say to the dog? Nothing. Bananas can’t talk.

127. What did the fisherman say to the magician? “Pick a cod, any cod.”

128. What did the snowman ask the other snowman? “Do you smell carrots?”

129. What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas!

130. What do Olympic sprinters eat before a race? Nothing, they fast!

131. What do you call a famous turtle? A shell-ebrity!

132. What do you call a ghost’s true love? A ghoul-friend.

133. What do you call a sleeping T-Rex? A dino-snore!

134. What do you call an old snowman? A glass of water.

135. What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts.

136. What do you do if someone rolls their eyes at you? Roll them right back.

137. What do you feed an alligator? Anything it wants!

138. What does a triceratops sit on? On its tricera-bottom.

139. What falls in winter but never gets hurt? Snow.

140. What fruit do twins love? Pears!

141. What gets wetter the more it dries? A towel.

142. What has three letters and starts with gas? A car.

143. What is a computer’s favorite snack? Computer chips.

144. What is the strongest animal in the sea? Mussels.

145. What is worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxis.

146. What kind of chicken is the funniest? A comedi-hen!

147. What kind of music do mummies listen to? Wrap music.

148. What kind of nut doesn’t like money? Cash ew.

149. What kind of pictures do turtles take? Shell-fies.

150. What kind of pizza do dogs eat? Pup-eroni pizza!

151. What makes a sick lemon feel better? Lemon-aid.

152. What time is it when people are throwing pieces of bread at your head? Time to duck.

153. What type of key opens a banana? A mon-key.

Short Jokes For Kids

154. What was a more useful invention than the first telephone? The second telephone.

155. What was the first animal in space? The cow that jumped over the moon.

156. What’s a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.

157. What’s a snake’s favorite subject in school? Hiss-tory.

158. What’s the difference between a car and a fish? You can tune a car but you can’t tuna fish.

159. What’s white and can’t climb trees? A fridge.

160. What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

161. Where do you learn to make ice cream? Sundae school.

162. Which side of a cow is the hairiest? The outside!

163. Who eats snails? People who don’t like fast food!

164. Why are elevator jokes the funniest? Because they work on so many levels.

165. Why are ghosts terrible liars? Because you can see right through them.

166. Why are penguins socially awkward? Because they don’t know how to break the ice.

167. Why did the banana visit the doctor? She wasn’t peeling well!

168. Why did the computer get sick? It caught a virus!

169. Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because it was feeling a little crummy.

170. Why did the farmer ride his horse into town? Because it was too heavy to carry.

171. Why did the God of Thunder need to stretch his leg muscles so much as a kid? He was a little Thor.

172. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants while he played? In case he got a hole in one.

173. Why did the M&M go to school? Because she wanted to be a Smartie.

174. Why did the melon jump into the river? Because it wanted to be a watermelon.

175. Why did the peanut get into a rocket? He wanted to be an astro-nut!

176. Why did the teacher have a sack full of birdseed? For her parrot-teacher conferences.

177. Why didn’t the lamp sink? It was too light.

178. Why do bowling pins have such a hard life? They’re always getting knocked down.

179. Why do vampires seem sick? They’re always coffin.

180. Why don’t you ever see giraffes in middle school? Because they’re all in high school.

181. Why was the baby strawberry crying? Because their parents were in a jam.

182. Why was the broom late to school? It over-swept!

183. Why was the student’s report card wet? It was below C level.

184. Why won’t peanut butter tell you a secret? He’s afraid you’ll spread it!

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About The Author
This post is published by MS who started the website Find Motivation. The goal of this website is to motivate people by giving them the right knowledge and information.